Rhyme's Diary: Entry 3
Warning: major rant coming your way. Boy, am I stressed. Remember last time I wrote in you? The time when I was thinking about almost kissing Drake in rehearsal, how maybe he wanted to be more than friends - or stage partners - in real life?
Haha, well...that was a bust. Not only did I embarrass myself, I set up dozens of awkward situations for the rehearsals to come. I can’t believe I put myself out there like that, just to feel disappointed and ashamed. When Drake told me he was just acting...I felt like a joke. Like a tiny, insignificant freshman kid he wouldn’t even consider as more than a friend. I should really stop thinking about it. Just - UGH.
Maybe I should take Harmony’s advice and just forget about Drake. After all, I didn’t even know him a couple of months ago. Who’s to say I’ll even remember his name by the end of the year? Then again, maybe I shouldn’t take relationship advice from my younger sister. Not that I have many other friends to talk to nowadays…
I feel bad about how things went down with Ellie. I didn’t mean to get so angry with her, but I really am frustrated. How can she not see that the Bs aren’t her real friends? Real friends don’t make you get their lattes and do their homework. They don’t threaten you when you’re not acting exactly the way they want. They don’t make you work for their friendship.
That gets me thinking. Maybe I’m just supposed to accept Ellie for who she is, and just be there for her until she realizes what the Bs are all about. Ugh, but that’s so hard. Especially when she’s so wrapped up in that whole high school world. It feels like she doesn’t even see the real me.
Here’s hoping that Ellie and I will repair our friendship soon, that the Chicken Girls will find our way back together, and that Drake will somehow lose his memory of our awkward conversation by the lockers. That we can go back to the way things were, to that almost-kiss…
Remember, it’s just acting. I should just start acting, too. I’ll act like I’m relaxed, like I don’t feel awkward around Drake, like I have my BFFs by my side again and no worries in the world. Maybe I’ll be so good at acting that it starts to feel real…wish me luck!