Hey Harmony: Best Friends and Boyfriends

Hey Harmony, 

For the past few months, I'm sad to say, I've had a crush on my best friend's boyfriend. I never told anybody or did anything about it because I didn't want to risk our friendship. But then last week she broke up with him because he's not interesting or fun enough (her words, not mine). Now he's single and she seems to be moving on.

Ever since then, when I see him around school, he's been extra nice to me...almost flirtatious? On the last day of school he asked if I'd want to hang out over the Summer, and I really do want to! The thing is, I don't want to upset my best friend, and I'm kinda worried he might be using me to get back at her. What should I do???

 

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Harmony: 

This is a complicated one. But on the other hand, it is SO SIMPLE. Repeat after me: we don't date our best friends' exes

This might sound harsh. You might be thinking: what, never?! But here's the thing, EVEN if she's over him and gives you her blessing to date him, it WILL lead to complications. Complications that YOU DON'T NEED. I mean, what if you can't stop wondering if he'll ever like you as much as he likes her? Or what if she starts liking him again later on? Think of what that would do to your friendship. Or, what if he is, in fact, using you to get back at her? (You're right, this is an unfortunate possibility). Then you're just a pawn in his immature little game. You. Deserve. Better. You deserve a boyfriend of your own who who does not create drama or make you question your importance to him. 

I'm not saying that dating your best friend's ex would make you a bad person, it would just make things complicated. If you want to keep things simple and be sure to have strong friendships, then it's gotta be friends before...friends before mens? Kinda has a ring to it! Thank you for writing, and make sure to spread the word: #friendsbeforemens. 

Hugs,

Harmony