Cathy's Diary: Entry 6


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I had my own agenda, my own path to pave.

I’ve spent a lot of time in my own head lately. It started with the dream again: the voice, screaming my name louder and louder, sometimes faraway sounding and sometimes close by. There are images, glimpses: rope, wood, the struggling hands of someone who needs my help. But who? And why? And why me?

My head isn’t always plunging me into nightmares. Today, it forced me to do the right thing and end my relationship with Junior. He is such a sweet guy, I just felt so bad doing it. He’s right, though: my head and my heart are somewhere else. Junior doesn’t deserve a girl whose mind is always drifting away, especially if they’re drifting to the thought of spending an afternoon with Dwight.

I can’t believe how we were treated earlier at the diner. I mean, how Dwight and Abby were treated. But, they’re part of our friend group. We should be one and the same, like how it is at school. It just isn’t fair, that I could go to the diner with Jo and be treated fair and equal, and when we bring our friends we’re told to scram. It’s just not okay. I wish we could do something about it, take some kind of action. Leave Jo alone for a night and I’m sure she will come up with a plan - that is, if her dad doesn’t distract her again with more family drama.

Speaking of family drama, Ray called again this morning, just in time to wake me up from the dream. He said he has no friends at Finley Academy because they keep bothering him about Henry. There is something that happened between Henry and a teacher, I think? I could barely hear Ray on the phone before my mother came downstairs and he had to go, but I know I have to talk to him again soon. I know there’s more to the story.

The board is set, with so many key players and disparate pieces and chaotic twists and turns. But, I know I have to stay true to myself, to my mind. I have my own path to pave.

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